A Message To The Unforgiven 
by PJ



It is my great hope that each visit to this website brings healing, mercy and grace.

Many times I have spoken of the necessity, the command and the reason to forgive. But there is another point I must make regarding forgiveness. It is to the person who is unforgiven.

The Scripture declares in Romans 12:19, "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for [God's] wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is Mine. I will repay (requite), says the Lord."

Everyone has done something for which forgiveness is necessary, but some people have committed wrongs that really can never be made right. The problem is, we cannot relive the past. We may have said hateful words, broken a trust, committed a betrayal, or even worse, been falsely accused and never had an opportunity to explain. There are some things that just won't be forgiven by a select few and no matter how much you ask forgiveness or apologize, you won't be forgiven.

It goes against the grain of human nature to walk in a state of not being forgiven.  It's carrying a load of sin and death for which mankind was not designed and perhaps that's why it is so painful. But we live in a world where one of man's greatest battles is to limit his rule of others and recognizing there is a power greater than himself.  Glory to Yeshua, this is precisely why Yeshua came!

There really are people in this world who won't forgive and they will feel zero remorse in not caring about you anymore. There really are people in this world who can write you out of their lives and never look back all the while calling themselves sons and daughters of the Most High G-d. There really are people who just choose to not let go of the pain you have caused them or that they have believed you have caused them.  There are even people who will make up things on a continual basis to stop themselves from giving you forgiveness and there are people who absolutely delight in hurting people they believe they hold hostage by their refusal to forgive.

One of the reasons we are taught to forgive is because we must allow others the right to "be". When we refuse to forgive we take G-d's place in rule, trying to impose our justice and our punishment. Although we are counseled by the Scripture to forgive, people do have the right to disobey and ignore G-d's Word. People have the right to go to hell if they desire.  Glory to Yeshua, G-d did not create robots but gave us freedom to choose.  But it is up to every individual to choose to do right or wrong.

The pain others inflict by their failure to forgive can often be greater than the original offense real or imagined. I believe those who refuse to forgive desire to inflict punishment in an attempt to control the pain they once felt along with a failing attempt to re-write history.  We would all love to control all circumstances in this life but we won't.  

I would love to tell you that the offenses I have committed against others in life never happened, but I am a human, not an angel. And yes, I know some of you actually believe I am an angel. *grin* The older I get, the more I learn and understand; however, on that learning road, I did make many mistakes....extreme mistakes. I also have been painfully and wrongfully accused in some instances and suffered at the hands of others for no good reason at all.

Today, I speak to the unforgiven. Maybe the love and trust is gone forever in some relationship in your life. Maybe the relationship is damaged beyond repair. Maybe the pain you are suffering is just or maybe it's not. But if another will not accept your request for forgiveness and restitution, there really is nothing more you can do but give it over to G-d. Mishlei / Proverbs 25:21-22 declares, "If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; For in doing so, you will heap coals of fire upon his head, and the Lord will reward you."

Many years ago, I lost someone who was more dear to me than my own life. When I needed his family and friends the most, I became the focal point for retaliation. I didn't do anything wrong. In fact, the pain was so unbearable for me that looking back, I can see it is only G-d's grace that kept me. I have paid the price for something I did not do and it was a heavy price I paid. In that time, I suffered until I no longer ran from the pain but embraced it. I learned from the pain how many others who are unforgiven feel. I learned the lesson of separation. I sadly learned that those who try to empower themselves with such retaliation only destroy themselves.

Today, I can look back at the destruction that was caused and realize no reconciliation is granted and perhaps never shall be. For me there was no second chance and no mercy. There is absolutely nothing more I can do except continue to pray and continue moving forward, even if I never get the responses that would help my life be better.   My life and the calling upon my life isn't going to go away just because some people chose to do so.   In such a situation all I can do is trust G-d and await right in eternity.  One thing is for certain....I have learned to forgive.

We have a responsibility, as followers of Messiah Yeshua, to hold ourselves to a higher accountability and be the best people we can be. We can learn from the fact that all humans have the capability to be hurtful, including ourselves. What we do with that knowledge can take us to a higher level or we can use that knowledge to self-destruct.

Just because others refuse to grant forgiveness does not mean we are in defeat. Unfortunately, it means those refusing to forgive are. Forgiveness is not something a weak person can give. It takes great strength to truly forgive those who have wronged us.

If you are one who refuses to grant forgiveness to another, I challenge you to obey G-d. Come into alignment with the Word of G-d and restoration b'shem Yeshua.

Today, if you are in the ranks of the unforgiven, I release you by the Word of G-d. Go free b'shem Yeshua. The only One Who has the right to not  forgive grants us great grace in this age. He is mercy and compassion. He is forgiveness. He is the L-rd! And ultimately He is the only One Who has a right to judge you which He will not do by vengeance but by Love.

May the new year be one of freedom!

“Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified Bible."